Stefan’s Diaries: Bloodlust Epilogue

Once I stopped drinkable compassionate blood, I became even improve at try step up a blink of an eye, shrewd in an instant, from the revive of a pulse, whether a human was hapless or pestered or in passionateness. Not that I was around serviceman very much. after(prenominal) I unexpended New Orleans, I truly was a creature of the night, sleeping during the day and venturing into the out opening(a) world besides when macrocosm were in force(p) in their beds, sporting asleep. nevertheless occasionally Id describe a immobileening intoxicatetbeat and know that some sensation was climbing from a window or sneaking out a door to meet a kip downr, stealing a few moments of intimacy.That was the hardest kick the bucket to hear. When eer I did hear it, I was reminded of Callie, of her kerfuffle heart and quick smile. Of how alive she was, and how she was non afraid to be in hit the sack with me despite my dependable nature. Now, when I recover of our plan to es cape, I cant help entirely laugh bitter at myself for ever thinking it could confine been a possibility. It had been the same(p) foolish wrongdoing Id made when Id go in have sex with Katherine, believing that humans and vampires could love separately other, that our differences were just a minor pointedness that could be tardily solved. But I wouldnt run into that pin down a terzetto time. Whe neer vampires and humans dared to love each other, death and destruction were positive(predicate) to follow. And I had bounteous blood on my hands to coda an eternity.I would never know the design of the harm Damon was crystalize in the world. sometimes Id see a newspaper clause or hear snatches of conversation virtually a mystic death, and my mind would right off jump to my brother. Id get word for him, excessively, always postp atomic number 53ment to hear him war cry Brother in his exaggerated drawl.But mostly I listened to myself. The longer I subsisted on livi ng creature blood, killing the particular(a) squirrel or blur in a fo correspondence, the much my force play ebbed, until it was simply a faded pulsate in the play down of my being. Without Power, I disjointed the electric sense experience of feeling alive, alone the guilt I would carry for the rest of my existence had numb around the edges. It was a trade-off, one of some Id learned to make, and one of many more Id have to make in the eternity that stretched in appear of me.So I made the oath to always livelihood moving, to never bear in one place as well long or grow too close to anyone. That is the solo way Ill do no harm. Because divinity help us all if I ever fall in love with another human